GG ALLIN - HE IS A LEGEND!!!

We make no secret of the fact we love GG Allin. He is a legend. His musical
exploits and performances have made him THE greatest outlaw scumfuck punk rocker
there has yet been, and ever will be. Hence this article.
For those who don't know, a GG show of his would feature him pooing on stage,
smearing it all-over his body, throwing it at the audience, eating it, girls on
stage pissing in his mouth, DIY enemas, drinking results of DIY enemas, etc..
The only times he was inhibited were the times police were at his show after an
alleged rape incident - but normally he went off. And the music and lyrics!..
the lyrics were divine. Such classic songs as 'Legalize Murder', 'I Wanna Rape
You', 'I Kill Everything I Fuck', 'Kill thy Father Rape thy Mother' ..just to
name a few.
Most importantly was the rumor that one day GG would kill himself on stage.
People would go to a show hoping tonite would be the night and they'd have a
good story to tell their grandchildren - that they were there when GG went to
the most extreme and said goodbye to this life in the name of art. Many a time
firearms were found hidden amongst his gear and this lead to a few altercations
with the law. Unfortunately as you will know GG did not die on stage, however
his last show was nonetheless pretty classic. Jonathan J Hunt has this to say
about his last show, after GG had left the crowd waiting half an hour for him.
"GG started his show the usual way, with whiskey, X-Lax, and lord only knows
what other control substances. After a while GG gets wild and starts doing his
thing - the clothes come off and he's shitting all over the stage. He picks up
his turds and throws them into the audience. What he doesn't throw into the
crowd he eats himself! At that point something snaps. GG covered with
sweat/whiskey/shit flips and runs out into the audience attacking everyone.
Everyone goes completely apeshit. They all try to run out of the place. Then GG
breaks out into the street still attacking everyone he sees. There's this group
of kids who hang out around the corner of the club - they weren't there for the
show or anything. GG attacks them and they go crazy - running everywhere trying
to get away from him. Some cops show up but they can't catch GG covered in
whiskey and shit the way he was. They didn't seem to try very hard - would you?.
So GG running from the cops disappears. He was found dead of an overdose around
3 or 4 in the morning 3 blocks from the club, naked."
But was GG really the legend we all saw him as. I quote K. Milenski.. "I go to
Macalester College where my advisor is this goddess of an art professor named
Ruthann Godellei. A few years back some friends of hers were in this band called
Fucking Shitbiscuits [Great Hot Bakery Items influenced name!] and they played
the 7th Street Entry in Minneapolis with GG Allin opening. GG was running around
all greasy and in a G-string being his usual dumbshit self, pulling girls
unwillingly on stage with him and just generally being his usual dumbshit self,
when Ruthann got sick of his harassing everyone and pulled him off stage onto
his ass by his boots. He was pretty damn pissed. Meanwhile they decided it was a
good idea to let GG sleep on their couch while he was in town, and later he left
with a bunch of their money. What a legend."
And as for the supposed "He's gonna kill himself on stage" stories I quote Birk
Mackinnon.. "I remember my friends hassling GG when he was living in AA
Michigan. They'd keep asking him why he didn't kill himself on stage. GG would
get all pissed and retort 'Would you kill yourself on stage, dickhead?' "
I would however discredit these last two people. Sure maybe GG didn't impress
everybody but he was still probably learning his trade. Once he was above
supporting other bands there was no looking back. And you could expect him to
get a bit touchy when people hassled him about killing himself - even GG
wouldn't take such a thing lightly - the timing had to be right, it had to be
the right audience, and are there any Hot Bakery Items in the next world??
Of course there are rumours that like Elvis he faked his death and he's alive
somewhere in this world. Apparently he was sick of recording records for, as he
puts it "Stupid motherfuckers who have their heads stuck too far up their asses
to see my music for what it truly is!". This dubious information comes from
Petersen Knel who claims his pen pal goes out with GG's cousin who's looking
after him. I guess we can only hope but I very much doubt it.
GG's band, The Murder Junkies, have a new singer and continue to perform.
Blasphemy I say - there will only be one GG and we don't like pretenders.
- Brother Dave